“We really got a situation here”, says governor Kwali Bahli. “People expect to be eaten sooner or later, so they don’t really have dreams nor work for their future. Now the cannibals have turned vegetarian, unemployment rates are going through the roof. It’s a situation that mustn’t last any longer. That’s why we try to make the cannibals change their mind. If we don’t succeed via official ways, we’ll try to bribe their medicinman; he’s got a lót of influence.”

The kidnapper turned out to be smart, because a few minutes later the phone rang again, and this time the demand was 500,000, or else he would see his son again soon. This got the millionaire véry frightened, and he immediately reported the case to the police, who started an investigation.

“This will shut Windows-users’ big mouths for good”, says Dump. “There’s no denying the facts when they are presented this clear. Behold, the great switch is near!”

“When graduating I spent a lot of time on the internet doing research. Some days I would get up and take my place at the computer only to retire late in the evening. There’s so much interesting stuff to read, following one link after another, it just doesn’t stop anywhere. At some point I realized it would take far more than a lifetime to read it all, but also that I will never feel satisfied if I don’t read as much of it as possible. That’s why I decided I will spent the rest of my life reading the internet, it will be my fulltime job.”

Tsuyoshi has a lot of major companies interested in sponsoring him. He will start a blog with live webcam that, according to the experts, has a big chance of becoming very popular. Visitors would be able to see Tsuyoshi sitting at his computer all day, with a clear view of his monitor and the sites he is visiting. Companies would want to spent some of their marketingbudget on Tsuyoshi, provided he would wear their clothes or eat their products in front of the webcam. These products would also be advertised on his website.

“The internet provides us with new ways of making money, but can also suck up our time”, says Tsuyoshi. “Thinking about this, I concluded it should be possible to make money out of this lost time.” And that’s what he’s about to do.

“When I’m on my way to the public library near the shoppingmall on a saturday”, he tells us, “there’s always people walking on the bicycle lane or crossing it without looking. I don’t understand this. I’m always coming through with high speed, so it’s very dangerous to carelessly walk or cross there. I finally came to the conclusion that they deliberately do it; intentionally blocking my way, meaning to say ‘Look at the power I have, blocking your way and all.’ When I realized this, I decided not to let them get at me anymore. I started running them over, everyone that gets in my way walking on the bicycle lane instead of the pavement, and it feels só good! I’ve had young and old, adults and children, under my frontwheel. Now when they see me approach, they run to safety. And I’m like:‘Who’s the boss now, huh?’”

Eric Paulowsky was being bullied by John and his friends every day. They called him ‘the sheriff’ because he was always lecturing people when they didn’t conform to the school’s rules. In the past he has been set on fire, pushed before approaching cars, thrown off the school’s roof and almost drowned by John W. and his friends. John’s mom:“I never saw this coming, John is always such a sweet boy!”

John shot Eric when he was on his way home from school. Nobody witnessed the incident directly, but when in court the judge asked John to describe what exactly happened, John said:“I just shot him through the head, then he was dead.”

In this book Sir Quinn, who has participated in the hiphopscene for years, lays bare the pure negativism it promotes and explains why a good rapper is a dead rapper. Quinn comments:“Somehow I’ve always felt that Tupac and Biggie are more positive, because they are dead. When I finally dared to accept these feelings, the urge arose in me to grab a gun and shoot my former rapbuddies, so as to make them more positive. I know society doesn’t approve of these ways of thinking, but in the end they might be grateful. After all, I think sometimes violence dóes solve things.”

Initial pressing is now in stores and thousands of copies are expected to be sold. The first thousand buyers get a free bullet, “so don’t hesitate and run to the nearest bookstore nów!”, says Quinn.

UC Berkeley professor George Fukoff tells us:“Thorough studies have revealed that every single human being has the urge to write. Now with blogging everybody has the ability to get in touch with a broad audience. While some might say those millions of bloggers out there don’t really write anything worth reading, most bloggers don’t share this idea. They feel they are expressing themselves, and no matter what stupid things they might write, they indeed are. Because, well, most people nowadays áre stupid.”